Speaking from the Heart Strategies for Powerful Communication with John Henny

Ever wonder why your recorded voice seems like a stranger's? Join us as vocal coach extraordinaire John Henny illuminates the path to embracing your natural voice, while I, Jennifer Furlong, get into the nitty-gritty of vocal delivery that makes or breaks effective communication. This episode is a treasure trove for anyone aiming to refine their oratory skills. From the quirky transition of a drummer to a voice guru, John's insights will lead you through the science of vocal perception, and together, we'll tackle the challenge of accents and authenticity in your daily conversations.

Have you ever been caught off guard by a 'salesman voice'? We dissect the pitfalls of this often-repelling pitch and, instead, share the secrets of emotional sincerity that can turn any spiel into a profound connection with your audience. John and I pull back the curtain on transferring acting techniques to public speaking, and I even dare you to sing your next speech—at least in rehearsal! With stories from the stage and strategies for dealing with the unexpected, this episode is your backstage pass to captivating an audience with humor, humility, and a dose of reality.

Finally, for those whose instrument of choice is the voice, we've got your back on maintaining its health. I'll let you in on my favorite vocal care tips, and John will weigh in on shaking off the shackles of perfectionism because sometimes, it's the imperfect note that strikes the deepest chord. Wrap up your vocal cords in a warm blanket of knowledge as we traverse the landscape of voice optimization for both the seasoned professional and the everyday speaker. And remember, it's not just about speaking clearer but touching hearts with clarity and sincerity. Join John and me for an insightful journey into vocal mastery that will have you not just talking, but communicating like never before.

Contact John Henny for more speaker tips at www.compellingspeaker.com

Order a copy of The Compelling Speaker at https://amzn.to/3V7430G

Transcript

Speaker 2: 0:07

Welcome to the Communication 24-7 podcast, where we communicate about how we communicate. I'm your host, jennifer Furlong. Let me just do something real quick, real quick, before we get started. I will now practice my non-regional diction. If any of you are wondering, what in the heck is she doing? I have a vocal coach in the house. Let me introduce John Henney to you. He has been around the world and he has helped thousands of people become more effective communicators. He is an author, he is a podcaster and he is going to help us think about not only just think about, but give us some really good tips regarding our vocal delivery. So y'all know, as a public speaking coach, I taught public speaking at the college level for 18 years. This is a person after my own heart, so I'm excited to have him as a guest on the show. I know I'm going to learn a lot from him and I guarantee all of you listeners will also learn a lot from him. So, john, welcome to the show.

Speaker 1: 1:36

Thank you for having me.

Speaker 2: 1:38

Absolutely. You know, I think being able to deliver a presentation effectively, it doesn't matter if you are aspiring to be on the stage, if you want to get on the speaking circuit, if you want to be a leader, to be able to just share your message more effectively with your employees. Regardless, this is a skill that we have to continue to develop over our lifetime. So, before we actually dive into the questions, would you mind taking a moment for our listeners to just introduce yourself and tell us a little bit about how you became a vocal coach to begin with? What made you want to do this for a living?

Speaker 1: 2:21

Yeah, so my journey to being a vocal coach was not a straight line and it's not anything I saw myself doing when I was younger. When I was a child, my father, who was from Glasgow, scotland, had this wonderful natural singing voice and my attempts at singing would be met with that's bloody terrible, which I know it sounds awful, but it's a Scottish thing, yes. So I just went okay, I'm not going to sing. And I started playing the drums and I became a professional drummer in my late teens and played professionally all through my 20s. And in my early 20s I thought you know, if I could sing just a little, I could get more gigs because I could do at least backup vocals. And a friend of mine said hey, I just started taking lessons with someone who studies with Stevie Wonder's voice teacher and I went Stevie Wonder, I'm in. So I began studying with a person named Eric Futer here in Southern California and he showed me that the voice really is an instrument and if you learn the basics and the mechanics, you can learn to sing. And I moved from the drums. I started becoming a lead vocalist. I ended up moving on to Stevie Wonder's teacher himself, seth Riggs, who taught everybody's he was Michael Jackson's voice coach and I then started training other voice teachers.

Speaker 1: 4:00

I started working with singers and voice teachers and from there I started to be sent from ear, nose and throat doctors. I would get professional voice users, speakers, and I found that the exercises that worked for singers. If I modified them, they worked for speakers as well. And I also found that the devices that great singers use in order to connect to an audience and really captivate them worked for singers, and so it's kind of become my mission to help people discover the music in their voice. We all are born to sing. They believe that our first attempts at language prehistoric humans, our first language, was something they call music language, and it was an emotional communication that was sung, and so the voice is the connector of emotion, and music is really the way, the deepest way, that we can express emotion, and in taking these devices and this expressiveness and bringing it into your speaking voice, you will have an edge that most other people are missing.

Speaker 2: 5:17

Oh, I love that and I just wanted to throw it out there. My father was also a drummer, so speaking to another drummer, it just kind of warms my heart. And I love that you were talking about using the concepts that you learned when you were learning to sing and how you can transfer those exact same con you know those same ideas into the public speaking or the vocal delivery area. So one thing I do want to ask you people love to joke how they can only sing in the shower.

Speaker 1: 5:55

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 5:57

And we all, let's get real, we all know certain people who you know Bueller, Bueller, that monotone voice, on and on and on. So are you saying that, yes, even those who have that monotone voice, they've had it for years that we can finally get them into an area where they can tell a story and deliver it in a way that we're going to be able to be in that moment with them through their vocal delivery.

Speaker 1: 6:28

Absolutely. I think one of the shames is if you go back a hundred years ago, middle class homes in in, certainly in the US and Europe. Many of them had pianos. This was the family entertainment center and everyone got around and sang and they enjoyed it and there wasn't judgment yeah, certainly somewhere better than others. But then came the phonograph and the radio and now you could have world class singers in your home on demand and it created this class of well they sing.

Speaker 1: 7:00

I don't and people started to disconnect from singing and feel that if I don't do it on this level, I can't sing. And I think you know, when Tiger Woods came on the golf scene people didn't look at Tiger and go, oh well, then I can't golf. He brought more people to the game, he inspired people. Yet we seem to have this feeling that if you can't do singing at a certain level, you can't do it, and so we've lost our birthright of musical communication and in that I think that speech has become for many a little flatter than it used to be and a little less expressive. But if you gain an awareness and you just start to do some simple exercises, start playing with your range, play with some melody, not singing, but just even within your speaking voice, you'll start to discover that you can have a more profound level of communication and you will, you'll engage people. I mean, the joke from that Ben Stein character in Ferris Bueller was the monotony and just, it's so incredibly boring and you can. You can absolutely break out of that.

Speaker 2: 8:12

That's good news. That's really good news to hear, and you know, I think that's right. There's something about growing up in a home where there's music, and whether you have a child who is learning how to play guitar or the piano, they join band, you know, in middle school and high school learning to play the flute, whatever that instrument is. I think it's such a powerful tool to be able to learn how to express yourself in that way, and I think you do naturally tend to bring that into your speaking voice as well, even though you may not even necessarily know that that's what's happening. So, yeah, I think it's a fantastic idea to just have your kids learn, you know, whether they want to join chorus or they want to join band, whatever it is. I think it's a great extracurricular to have any child get involved with that, because it's going to help them in more ways than we even realize, especially since we're talking about our speaking voices.

Speaker 2: 9:15

So let's take it from from the base level. I am brand new to this. I'm scared to death. I have no idea you know where, where I can begin with this, but I do know that I want to be more effective. I do know that I want to be able to connect with people and reach them. On a more emotional level. What do you say to somebody who is really starting from just stage one and they have no experience in this and really little to no confidence in this? What do you do with that?

Speaker 1: 9:52

The beginning is to just connect with your voice on a deeper level, even if it's just humming. Feel the hum, feel the vibration, move the pitch up and down, feel how the sensations change as you move as you, as you, as you go up, you may feel the voice lift up behind your eyes. As you go down, you may feel it settle more in your chest and, of course, the voice isn't changing where it is. It's just how our body is absorbing the energy changes and our awareness of it. And then it's really, I think, the most important thing is finding your optimal speaking pitch, where your voice is going to work best.

Speaker 1: 10:37

A lot of people associate and rightly so a deeper voice with more authority, but what they end up doing is they mistake this more authoritative voice for a lower pitch. And when people start speaking on a lower pitch, they start to lose energy in their voice and trying to make that louder, all you're going to do is squeeze, which is going to create physical problems with the voice, fatigue or even worse. Just to demonstrate very quickly if I play a pitch and I speak on this pitch, if I change not the pitch but my resonance and I make the resonance go a little thinner and higher. My voice sounds higher, but if I'm on this pitch and I begin to bring in the deeper resonance, now my voice, I haven't changed the pitch, but it sounds richer, it sounds deeper. So it's then discovering not just the pitch of the voice but also the resonance, and if you don't like the sound of your voice, one or likely both of those aren't being used optimally.

Speaker 2: 11:47

Yeah, I hear that often, especially from students. They hate it when I ask them to record themselves and play it back so they can just hear what they sound like. And most of us probably 90% of the students that I would talk to about this I hate the sound of my own voice. I hate it. So what is it about that? What is it that makes us cringe when we listen to our own voice, because we're not hearing what everybody else is hearing, because most of the time I'm like what are you talking about? You have an awesome voice, so why is there such a disconnect there for us?

Speaker 1: 12:23

So the way the voice works, if you think about it, when we speak the sound waves are shooting away from us, so for us it's as if someone has their back turned to us and they're speaking. So nature makes up for this by conducting a certain amount of sound through bone, and the sound waves travel through the bone to the inner ear. But bone is not a very good conductor of higher frequencies. It tends to be better for lower parts of the sound wave, and so when you are speaking, the sense of your own voice that you're getting tends to be a little richer than what's being put out into the room, so that when you hear what your voice sounds like to others, it's a little jarring. But when people say, do I sound like that, unless the recording is really poor, yeah, that's what you sound like to others and just know. What you sound like to others can be changed, can absolutely be changed, and there is a voice that you have within you that is your natural, highly functioning voice.

Speaker 2: 13:40

Okay. So how do we find that? I get asked this question a lot, especially from students. Does it really matter when we're talking about our optimal speaking voice and how we sound? Does it matter if we have a certain accent? Does it matter the dialect that we have you touched on the pitch or the tone, like where you can find your optimal voice? But to add to that, there are some additional concerns that I know a lot of students have, including myself, because I can easily look, I'll get back into my Southern real quick, like right, quick, in a hurry. But going to broadcasting school, they didn't like that so much in Indianapolis, so that's why I learned to change that. But even for me, sometimes I'm wondering so what if it slips out a little bit? I don't know if that really bothers everybody necessarily. So how do you get someone to understand what their natural go-to speaking voices or, if they are gonna change it, whether they're changing it in a good way or a positive way?

Speaker 1: 14:54

What I like to look at at the voice is is it functioning at its best in terms of health, in terms of production? Is there good, healthy resonance? Is there a ease of production when the vocal cords are vibrating or phonating, or is the voice squeezed? Is it breathy or, hmm, are we finding a voice that's just nice and buzzy? Is the airflow sufficient for what we are using the voice for? And then from there, your accent is a part of you, it's a part of your personality. It's really up to you if your accent is at a point where it maybe needs to be, maybe soften slightly, in case people aren't understanding everything you are hearing. But I'm not an advocate of having a false voice. I see people and they talk about public speaking and it starts to become this thing right, and they're almost cheeto.

Speaker 2: 15:55

I'm an advocate in schools.

Speaker 1: 15:57

And I'm just not a fan of that. What I really think connects us to others is emotional honesty, and the connector of emotion is the voice. They did a study out of Yale and I think it was 1700 participants, and they wanted to see, as they spoke, how accurate the listener could be in telling what the other person was feeling. And they had them where it was. They could see and hear each other, and then it was only body language and then it was only sound. They put an obstruction between them or made the room dark where they couldn't see the speaker, and when it was the voice alone, the accuracy was at its highest. The voice, the vibration of the voice, the way we are tuned as social beings to really listen and gather information from the voice is quite profound, and so you can tell when somebody, when the voice, starts to be insincere, when you feel like you're being sold to your spidey, senses start to go up, and so I'm just really big on infusing the voice with honest emotional intention and letting that really carry your message.

Speaker 2: 17:29

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Speaker 2: 18:25

Yeah, you're so right that Spidey-Sinz comment that you just made. You do get a feeling, for if someone is being disingenuous when they're communicating with you, and I know. For me, I feel that when I'm talking to salespeople a lot of time. Okay, and I know you're trying to sell me something, and so here I am, I can hear it in the voice. So I know you work with a lot of different people from many different industries on their vocal delivery. Do you work with salespeople as well, so that they could optimize and be more effective. And so what kind of conversations do you have with them? Because I imagine that is probably something that comes up, that, yeah, there's that salesman type of vocal delivery that will probably cause people to back away rather than lean in, and that's problematic for them.

Speaker 1: 19:23

It's absolutely problematic and for me it could be something I'm ready to buy, something I need, but when I get that vibe I'm gonna go buy it elsewhere. I just don't like the feeling and I really focus in my training on really choosing clear emotional intentions and emotional intentions. This comes from the acting world and what it is. Let's say, the scene for the actor is they're gonna receive devastating news. The actor doesn't go. Okay, I'm going to be upset or I'm going to be sad, because that's just kind of this static instruction. So what the actor does is no, I am going to, my intention is to rebuke, is to not accept, and so to push against. And so then that struggle of hearing the news and you're emotionally know I don't want to hear this starts the true emotion churning.

Speaker 1: 20:32

So let's say you've got to walk out and it's a sales presentation, as people walk out and they'll say hello, but they they're just running through the, the greeting, and then they're going to go off to sale, sell, right. When you walk out, what if your intention is to welcome or to connect, like that's your goal, in the moment You're going to stop, the moment you might smile differently. You'll you'll have different connection with the eyes and the way you speak and people feel this. If you feel it, people get it and it really is. And then, when you're giving the sales presentation, as you're explaining the product, your intention should be to inform, to reveal, to instruct, to excite, and this this creates is your intentions build. Then, when it comes to the sale, it's. It's not going to be pushy, you're not going to have the same amount of resistance.

Speaker 2: 21:42

I love that. What is your emotional intention? And so I could see that applied and all kinds of different scenarios, whether you're creating a speech for a TEDx talk or if you are delivering a presentation at work, a really important presentation at work. What is that emotional intention? How is it that you want to connect with the audience on that level? That's a really important question. I think, at the very beginning stages of you know, let's say you're, you're starting at the very beginning and you've decided today I want to do a TED talk. You know, maybe that's one of the first questions you need to ask yourself what is, what is the emotional intention of the talk that you want to deliver? Is that, is that something that you think would be wise for them to do? Sit down at the very beginning and really think about that intention right there.

Speaker 1: 22:34

Absolutely. I have a book. It's, I think it's called the Actors Thesaurus. It's just that it's a whole listing of different intentions and you can go through your talk and play with different intentions on each line. I was speaking with this, this highly respected acting coach, and she had a student who was doing the Phantom and Phantom of the Opera.

Speaker 1: 22:58

Oh nice and when he learned how to use intentions, he was just so ecstatic and he would change his intentions each night because it brought something new to the role, as he did it hundreds and hundreds of times and it was always fresh and always exciting. So you're not locked into these. You can be very creative with them and as you play with them and experiment with them, you will feel they will ignite actual emotion. And you have to remember the voice is always communicating emotion and it can communicate lack of emotion, lack of empathy. It can communicate people. People pick up on things you don't realize they're picking up on. And if you are in these really honest, true intentions, it's a powerful thing. And on the flip side, I say, and not entirely joking, I've never seen a cult leader or a con artist with a lousy speaking voice.

Speaker 1: 24:09

They know how to captivate people. They know how to use these intention. They know how to connect on this level where they can lead people where everyone else is standing going. How could you fall for this? How could you go with this person? But when you, when somebody knows how to use these, it's quite powerful.

Speaker 2: 24:32

I want to be able to do this right. I'm sure you've heard this. I want and I can understand the value in this, but I'm just I'm afraid. I feel kind of silly if I let myself go in that direction. What kind of advice do you give anyone who says something like that? They're, they're afraid to let go, or they're afraid of looking silly, or they're afraid that it's just not going to work for them. For, for whatever reason because I know that fear is a pretty common feeling, especially, you know, in the field of public speaking- Absolutely.

Speaker 1: 25:07

I encourage my clients to play a game I call the world's worst musical and I use the word worst because it can be intentionally bad and I have them take go somewhere where they know no one can hear them and I have them take their talk or maybe some of their slides and the points they're going to make, and sing it. And sing it like you're, just like like will Ferrell in elf I'm smiling and I'm singing and and just be incredibly silly with it. And then move that to speech and allow that energy and then go back to singing as badly as you want and then back to speaking and you'll notice all of a sudden there's a different flow there. There will be melody in your words, tone, there'll be building of tempo and then pulling back. And you'll see that, my gosh, just as singers, because singers have to go out and certainly contemporary music it's very repetitive.

Speaker 1: 26:16

You have first course, first course. The course is repeat the same lines, it's repeating melodies. But great singers they use these little subtle devices. They'll maybe pause when you think they're going to give you the word. They hesitate, they change the tone, they start to increase the intensity, they pull back and what they do is they keep reawakening interest by introducing new elements and when you start discovering music and how you can have this melody in these devices to keep reawakening attention, you're going to enjoy public speaking much more because you know that you can hold an audience's attention.

Speaker 2: 27:00

Yeah, and this is a skill. You got to work at it, to develop it. This isn't something that you're going to listen to this podcast today and then immediately you're going to go out there and you're going to be a Martin Luther King Like that ain't going to happen, right? This is something that professional speakers work on this consistently over years to be able to do this effectively. So you know, if you try this a couple of times and you feel like it's just not catching on or you're just not getting it or whatever, whatever that hesitation is, don't let that make you give up, because this is something it's like anything else you're going to learn, whether it's an instrument or a sport. You know you got to practice at it to get good at it, and that takes time and effort, you know, over the long haul I can't emphasize that enough One of the things I would have my students do when I was in the classroom is I was bringing, I would bring in children's books and I would have them be, you know, for example, the three little pigs, and so I'd have like four students and you know three of them would be one of the little pigs and then the fourth student would be the big bad wolf and I would have them read the different passages and at the beginning they would always be super shy.

Speaker 2: 28:21

They didn't want to really get into it because it's kind of silly. But then by the end they would just let it go and everybody would have a great time with it and they were laughing and just kidding around and what a transformation that was for them to be able to learn. Hey, you know what? Just let go and enjoy it. And then that's when that connection happened with everybody in the room. So I love that you have that. You know, kind of like a silly, do this as a really bad musical.

Speaker 1: 28:51

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 28:52

To practice it. I love that. I love that idea. I think that's fantastic To be able to just have some levity. I think that's so incredibly important.

Speaker 1: 29:03

It is. You know so much of the fear that we experience with, with speaking, getting out in front of others. It really is. It's. It's the ego and I don't mean the ego in thinking that you're incredible. It's the ego in the sense of the self and the and the self wants to protect. And many years ago, when we traveled in small groups, if you were ostracized, if you were rejected, you would perish most likely. And that, that primal fear stays with us. This fear of rejection and judgment is so palpable. And yet in modern societies, the fear is almost silly.

Speaker 1: 29:51

If you give a talk and it doesn't go well, your life is not over. That's right, but it but it's this turning inward. So I tell people, you know this, this, like doing the three little pigs is wonderful because they start to break out and they're interacting with each other and the sense of self begins to diminish. And now they're, they're going back and forth and now their focus is outward. And that, I think, is something I really try. That that's really important for speakers is when you're getting up in front of people, your focus should be completely outward. And if you start to feel that nervousness and that inner chatter and that worry, you're turning inward, yeah, and so keep, keep it on the audience, keep it on those who've come to hear you. And the other thing I always do before I go out to speak is I give people permission to not like me, because they have that right. It's like you know what. You don't have to like me, but I'm here for the people who need to hear what I have to say. I owe it to them.

Speaker 2: 30:58

Yeah, I think that's a wonderful philosophy to have, because, even if you are able to reach just one person out in that audience, they've been able to. You've been able to make that connection with them on that emotional level. I think it's it's worth it, because you have no idea how you might impact that one person, you know, in a positive way and it's it's a really powerful tool to be able to use that. And I agree, you know it's it's about them, it's not really about you. So, you know, focus on the message that they're receiving, focus on how how is it that this is going to impact them in some way? And I think by doing that, by having that mindset, it kind of, you know, takes the pressure off of you just a little bit, because it's like, you know, I don't really have to go out here and do cartwheels, you know I don't have to be that type of speaker where I'm going out there and I'm entertaining the masses in order to make that connection.

Speaker 2: 31:56

I think sometimes some of the most powerful speakers that I've ever watched, they're able to make that connection with you and it's still in a very quiet and controlled way, you know. I mean, we all enjoy the, the, the exciting type of presenters. But there is something to be said about those presenters that can just capture your attention and they're not having to do all of the cartwheels and the, the, the vocal, you know, gymnastics and all of that to keep you captured. How can we find what type of speaker we are? Naturally, because I know so many people think that they have to be that, that entertaining person. You know that. Oh, obviously I'm an extrovert, you know, and I just that's just so, not true? You don't have to be that in order to be effective at this.

Speaker 1: 32:52

No, you don't. What you want to do is just incorporate all of you, all the sides of you. There will be parts of you that get excited and more animated and it starts to build and it's your voice is starting to pick up speed and then you'll, you'll pull back, you'll get a little more retrospective, maybe a little softer. The tonal change and what that does by providing variety, it constantly reawakens the listener's attention. So I think it's really just just exploring and I think those emotional intentions are a great way to start to allow those, those parts of your yourself, to be expressed fully.

Speaker 2: 33:38

Yeah, yeah. So do you ever have conversations with them regarding the actual story telling itself? Because I know that's a huge piece of it. It's. It's wonderful to be able to have this vocal delivery and to think about All right, I want them to feel a certain way. So if, if I'm telling an exciting story about whitewater rafting you know that I did over the weekend that I know I'm probably going to speak a little faster and a little more excited, you know, versus something that might require a little more slow pace, somber mood, whatever it is I'm trying to strive for. But if you don't have the right language or the right story or the right words or the right phrasing, sometimes that can come off as disingenuous if it's not meshing, if it's not matching up. So what kind of tips do you have for someone when they just they're sitting down for the first time and they really want to write a speech that's going to connect with the audience? How do they go about getting that story out of them?

Speaker 1: 34:45

I think we need to be very judicious with the stories that we tell. I have sat through speakers that I remember once I went to it was a two-day business seminar and there was only one speaker on stage for eight hours both days. That's a really daunting task. The person got up and he started off with an amusing anecdote. It's like okay, a story to get things going, then started to do a slice, but then it became story after story and corny jokes. By the end of the first day I realized this all could have been done in one day.

Speaker 1: 35:28

We've spent a day listening to your stories. Be very careful how many stories you're telling. Make sure that it builds to a point that it's relative to what you're talking about. Make sure that it's entertaining. It doesn't have to be funny, but it should be interesting Rather than if you feel like you want to put all these stories in. I think these little micro stories metaphors can be really powerful as well. There are different devices to illustrate what you are trying to express. You don't want to be dry, but then you don't want to be that person that just drones on and on and on with stories and people are looking for the exits as well.

Speaker 2: 36:18

That can be a really daunting task Thinking about how am I going to write this in a way that I can share my story and the audience is going to get that. I know that's one of the things with my students. They were really, really concerned about that aspect of it. I'm working with somebody right now. She's going to have to deliver a presentation, she's receiving an award and we just talked about this yesterday and she is so concerned about and rightfully so. Congratulations. If you get nervous at this, guess what? You're human.

Speaker 1: 36:50

Absolutely, absolutely we all get nervous.

Speaker 2: 36:52

I think you have to cut yourself a little slack as well and just know that any presentation that you give, it's probably not going to be perfect in any way. Do you have those types of conversations as well with your clients about being able to forgive yourself for some of the things that will likely go wrong in your presentation? Or do you have conversations with them about how do you best prepare for those things that will likely go wrong in a presentation? What if it were possible to bridge the gap between you and your team so that you could communicate with honesty, compassion and understanding? What if you could transform your relationship with your team so that you can guide them to be confident, capable adults who want to open up to you? If you like the sound of that, you need to get the book titled you Are Not a Bad Parent. It's by board-certified pediatrician, dr Elizabeth Henry. She will guide you down a streamlined path to creating lasting connection and true understanding between you and your team. Get your copy today by clicking on the link in the show notes.

Speaker 1: 38:08

First of all, nervousness is natural, and every performer talks about the butterflies before they go on. But it's them. It's really just getting them ready for the performance. It's when it becomes debilitating. Then we have to do something about it. Nothing goes perfectly and just allow imperfection and use it. How many times? You know great comedians, when a joke goes, when it bombs, they will actually get more laughs out of the fact that that joke didn't get a laugh. And so if you just go, it's okay. I mean, I've stumbled over my words and just made a joke about it or an offhand comment. I don't take myself too seriously. And if you make people feel like you're all there together and you're there for them and you're not worried about those who are going to judge you, I think the energy is just completely different.

Speaker 2: 39:15

I think so as well, and I think you know you mentioned comedians. I think that's a fantastic way to study, you know, getting up in front of an audience and allowing yourself to just show them the real you, and you're right. If something does happen that you didn't intend to happen, you know what, at the end of the day, the audience really doesn't know what you practiced. So I mean, whatever you do up there, just you know it was intentional anyway, right.

Speaker 1: 39:44

Yeah, I mean, look, disaster, the wrong slide comes up. Right, it skips a slide you want to freeze and what you could do is well, that's not what I was expecting. Hold on, we just missed something. Let's go back right. Technical difficulties everyone and people will be like oh OK, they go along with it. It's almost think of movies, you know, sometimes I don't know if it's still a thing, but at the end of the credits they would show bloopers. Or on YouTube they'll show bloopers from the office. People love bloopers. They love to see professionals mess up. It makes them human.

Speaker 2: 40:25

That's right. That's how we connect with others, right. So it's OK. It's OK.

Speaker 2: 40:32

I read a book, bird by Bird, by Anne Lamott, and there was one quote in there that has always stuck with me and that quote is perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor. And I don't know why, but I read that quote and I was like, damn, that is so true. I mean, anything that we work on, we put so much pressure on ourselves, especially if we're going to stand up in front of a group, because naturally we want to do a good job. Right, we want them to not only connect with the material, but we want them to connect with us in some way. You know, I think it's natural to want to do a good job. So it's natural to be a little weary, a little scared, you know, a little nervous at it, but I think there was something freeing in that quote. When I read that at least for me, it helped me realize that I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself to get it exactly right, and that's not what we connect with. We don't connect with. We're not robots. We don't connect with them. No.

Speaker 1: 41:38

It was.

Speaker 2: 41:39

OK, just go with the flow, it'll be all right.

Speaker 1: 41:44

I remember at a singer come to me and she was quite a successful session singer. So she would sing on project that people would have heard but wouldn't know who she is, background vocals et cetera, and she was experiencing some real vocal issues and a part of her voice this transition area where singers can have trouble She'd been a little hard on her voice and pushing it and the voice just wasn't holding. It was raspy, notes wouldn't hold, they would crack and she had to sing this song coming up for an industry audience. But there was going to be some big weeks there and she wanted me to help her with the song and as she began some of the notes were shaky. It wasn't sounding great, but she was such a beautiful artist and she was so emotionally connected that it didn't matter and by the end I was fighting back tears. It was so beautiful. She didn't worry about being perfect. She knew, OK, my voice has issues and we continued OK, here's some things we can do to fix that, but in its imperfection it was absolutely beautiful.

Speaker 2: 42:56

That's what you connected with.

Speaker 1: 42:59

Absolutely.

Speaker 2: 43:00

Yeah, that's such an important point to make. So, now that you mention, sometimes with singers and, I know, with anyone who speaks for a living, how do you prepare your voice? If you're somebody who does a lot of talking during the day, are there some things that you recommend people do to take care of that voice, because I know it can easily get tired throughout the day? But if you have to get up on stage and deliver, what are some things that we can do on a day-to-day basis that would help us really take care of this instrument that we have?

Speaker 1: 43:35

So, overall, your voice is part of your body, just as you need to care for your body Good food, proper hydration, sleep. Sleep is when the body repairs itself and the voice loves sleep. So if you've got a big vocal day coming up, don't be out at some loud bar late having a few drinks. You're going to be vocally trashed when you wake up. Now, during your heavy vocal day, I highly recommend phonating through a straw and this is something that was discovered by a voice scientist, dr Ingo Titze. And I've got them.

Speaker 1: 44:19

I have these metal voice straws that I carry with me and you can use a drink straw, you can use a couple of cocktail straws, but what you're going to do is you're going to take this straw and if it's a drink straw, I like to put my finger just slightly over the tip to create a little more resistance, because I don't want it to be too easy.

Speaker 1: 44:37

I want to feel my cheeks puffed out a little bit. I'll feel a bit of a bullfrog throat from the resistance and I just go just some glides through that straw and what that resistance is going to do is it's going to send air and energy back down to your vocal cords and it's like a little massage, and you do that for 30 seconds. You just kind of sneak away and then, when you've gone through it, just say hello, how are you? And feel where your voice is. Make sure your voice stays there at that pitch when you start getting tired. Watch that your pitch doesn't start to drop, because then your voice doesn't have a lot of energy, so you're going to start to squeeze and all that's going to do is start to swell your vocal cords even more, and then the pitch is going to drop even more and you're going to get into this vicious cycle.

Speaker 1: 45:32

So, it's really exercising your voice, getting some good vocal warm-ups, taking care of your voice and then making sure that you're speaking at a healthy pitch.

Speaker 2: 45:45

Do you recommend certain, like I know, some singers? I have a friend who sings in the choir at church and she has these hot teas that they're like her favorite hot teas that she likes to drink. Do you ever recommend anything like that, like a nice warm tea or something that would help, I don't know? Take care of the vocal cords or maybe help them relax after you've used them, after a long day of using your vocal cords. What are some things that we could do?

Speaker 1: 46:18

Well, there's actually a tea I've got a cup of it right here called throat coat, and it's made for the voice. But yeah, you want to. When you're drinking beverages, you want to be careful about too much caffeine because that can dry the voice and I love coffee, so that's a hard one for me. But just make sure you're getting plenty of water teas herbal teas are good and food. If you're eating water-rich food, that's really good for the voices. So fruits and vegetables, things. If you're going to have a hard vocal day, I wouldn't get up and eat a cheese pizza for breakfast, because that is your body is just going to be in this really hard work of digestion. I mean, that's just, it's hard on your system to digest it. You're just going to get dry like really salty Foods, things like that. You just really think health.

Speaker 2: 47:20

Yeah, that is such an important point you just made and I don't think many of us think about that Foods that might be a little too salty, or what are you eating that day? You have a big presentation that afternoon. What are the things that you are consuming so that your body is not having to work over time to digest that? I don't think that's something that we think about during those days that we have those speeches. So I'm glad that you mentioned that. I did have a question that I just remembered I wanted to ask you a little while ago when you had mentioned, with the vocal and the pitch and finding your optimal pitch, one of the challenges that I think maybe this is more so for women than men, but sometimes when we're talking, we'll have that it's like a question at the end and then it just never seems to end. How do you call their attention to that as being something that it's really a distraction if it's overused? How do you call someone's attention to that and then help them break that type of a habit?

Speaker 1: 48:39

Well, this is where you're starting to get into deeper work and where people maybe have to feel slightly uncomfortable when you start breaking things down, bringing their awareness to certain issues, maybe recording them speaking and say here, do you notice that? Do you see how that's a repeating pattern? And then what happens? And just point out that to the listener if your speech pattern becomes predictable, they're gonna tune out. That's like listening to three blind mice over and over again. It's too predictable and what we need is a certain amount of predictability. But then we need to not deliver on that, that there's new information coming in. That's why great singers are constantly adding nuances.

Speaker 1: 49:28

If you listen to a pop song, the producer will bring in new elements as the song repeats and builds or pulls things out to reawaken your interest. So if we don't want to have habits that we're unaware of, that becomes a problem, and I do that a lot. Working with singers is they'll have little vocal ticks, if you will. That I have to just point out and go. You realize that you're doing this all the time, that you're sliding to these notes again and again. Once in a while that's fine, but that's now becoming predictable and you don't want to be too predictable.

Speaker 2: 50:07

Yeah, that's the value of having a good coach and when you think about it, whatever industry that you're in I mean you can be the best baseball player out there, you can be a fantastic football player, whatever you know sports analogy that you want to use here they have coaches for a reason.

Speaker 2: 50:24

I mean, even if you have all of the natural talent in the world, you'll notice I mean gymnast right All over the world they will have a coach to help them to make those tiny tweaks that'll help them. Just take it from just yeah, you're really good, but how do we get to that next level? How do we make it really great? So I think it's really valuable to be able to have a coach that you can trust that is going to tell you those things that you yeah, you may not necessarily want to hear it or you know it might be a little uncomfortable to have that pointed out, but it is only going to make you better at the end. So, yeah, I appreciate that about you know really good coaches like you to be able to work with people and help them figure out those things that are going to take them to the next level. Have you ever worked with anyone? They were just so resistant to that, though, that it was like look, I'm trying to tell you.

Speaker 1: 51:24

I have worked with some resistant people and they've tended to come.

Speaker 1: 51:33

They've been sent to me and it's often been where they've been sent by a record label and they don't want voice lessons and they're really pushing back and usually I can get them on my side and show them. Look, there's a way to do this without losing who you are. I'm not going to turn you into some you know robot with just perfect technique who can't express, but we have to do this in a way that keeps your voice healthy. I haven't really found voice users in resistance if they come to me because they don't have the demands that singers do. They're not pushed to me by someone above them. They've. Usually they've sought me out and so they're more open.

Speaker 1: 52:23

Not everybody is comfortable at first, kind of getting under the hood of their voice, because we tend to feel that that's who we are and vocal issues tend to embarrass us in ways that you know. If you're learning to play guitar, you're not your first lesson. You're not embarrassed that you don't know how to play a C chord and then it's hard to move from a C to a G chord. But with the voice we tend to feel like, oh, I should be able to do this right away. That's right, yeah.

Speaker 2: 52:53

Yeah, I really appreciate one thing that you just said there that you know for the singer. I'm not trying to push you to be someone you're not. I don't want you to become, you know someone or something that you're not, and I think that's something that many of us need to hear. You know, even if you're just trying to practice for a presentation that's coming up. You know we watch examples of all of these amazing speakers that are online and we would like to hope that we could emulate you know them in some of the skills that they have, but at the end of the day, you really don't want to be a version of somebody else. You really do want to find who you are and then allow that to be the star of that presentation. Right, and to be able to pull them out, not emulate someone out.

Speaker 1: 53:45

You know, comparing ourselves to others is the source of so much misery, and I don't care. Well, maybe there are a few people, but whatever your expertise or what you're talking about, there's always going to be someone who knows more than you, who's maybe a better presenter, right, or you think, has more charisma. What it really is, when you're connecting as you, your voice, your experience, your journey, and you're doing this in an honest, connected way, you will be compelling. People will want to learn it from you.

Speaker 1: 54:29

I can't claim I know there are people who know more about the voice than I do Absolutely I can't claim to be the world's best vocal coach. What I do know is that I have a certain experience, a way of explaining things, a way of interacting with people that's kind of unique to me and or the person that I'm the right teacher for. It works, and there are people I'm not the right teacher for and that's fine, but it really is. You truly are enough. It's not a cliche, it really is this finding your voice. I would say, if you're struggling with this, take your speech or take your presentation, and I want you to mentally hear yourself giving the presentation in the absolute best way, like the ideal of yourself. What does that sound like? What does your voice sound like? Because that voice is within you and if there are certain physical impediments to that, that can be worked through, that voice that you hear in your head is there and it will move people.

Speaker 2: 55:47

Wow, I can see why you are such a sought-after coach. Like I'm motivated. Like after that, I'm like, look, I'm looking at the time We've been talking for almost 55, I can't believe 55 minutes now almost an hour, and that was just wonderful. Like I am motivated right now. I'm like I take on the world. What a fantastic message to send out to anyone who is really working toward bettering their voice, wanting to become a more effective communicator, wanting to be able to get out there and make a difference, connect with others. That was just so well said. I have nothing I can add to that at all. I really loved that. I can tell you're a fantastic vocal coach. I can tell that the people who you work with they probably really appreciate being able to work with you because I think you probably make a really strong connection with them on a personal level.

Speaker 1: 56:52

Well, thank you.

Speaker 2: 56:53

Yeah, absolutely so. Are there any final words of wisdom that you would like to share with our listeners before we wrap this up?

Speaker 1: 57:05

There's music in your voice. You don't have to be a singer, but there is a musical flow that goes back so far in our history and this musical connection, this emotional connection, this music language is incredibly powerful. And we all get our slides looking great and we have our power stances and we really think about what we're going to wear, but your voice is what's connecting you to people. Your voice is the most important thing on that stage or in that presentation, in that room, and the time that you spend on your voice will be repaid.

Speaker 2: 57:52

Beautiful. Thank you for taking us on this journey with you. This has just been so fantastic. I know I have learned a lot and I've been doing this for a long time. So, like you said earlier, there's always going to be somebody who knows more than you. We could always learn from someone. So if there's a listener out there and they want to continue this journey with you, how can they get in touch with you or tell us a little bit about your podcast? Maybe they want to take a listen to that.

Speaker 1: 58:18

Yeah, my podcast is called the Intelligent Vocalist. It focuses on singers, but if you're a professional voice user, it may be of interest to you, because it also goes into mindset and vocal health and even voice science. This instrument is so fascinating that scientists are still unsure of exactly how it works. It's so remarkably complex and wonderful. I also have a book called the Compelling Speaker that's available on Amazon. You can check out my website, compellingspeakercom. My main website is johnhennicom.

Speaker 2: 58:58

All right, fantastic. All right, you have a new fan. I'm going to follow your podcast and start listening because, like we said earlier, always room for improvement. Thank you again so much, john, for being a guest on the show and sharing your wisdom with how to become a better vocal. I don't want to say vocal artist oh yeah, some people out there might be a vocal artist but just anyone out there who wants to do a better job at delivering a presentation or speaking more effectively. This has been jam-packed with all kinds of goodies, so I know the listeners really do appreciate this hour that you have spent with us. So thanks again for being here.

Speaker 1: 59:38

Thank you so much for having me.

Speaker 2: 59:40

All right, everyone. Have a great rest of your day and we'll see you next time. Bye, thanks for listening. If you enjoyed this episode and you'd like to help support the podcast, please share it with others, post about it on social media or leave a rating and a review.